Put a ring on it the Indian way.

It all started off with an alarm at 4’O clock. I woke up more drowsy than ever, from the half an hour of sleep I had. Anxious shouts about missing jewellery and clothes filled the air and the heavy scent of perfume and incense intoxicated everyone around me.
After sitting in the makeup artist’s chair for an hour and the hair dresser’s for another, I was already half an hour behind schedule. But of course, the red banaras and peach silk half saree that I was going to wear was the cherry on top- it took half an hours worth of effort from the stylist to finally make it all look good on my weak twig of a body.
And as the saying goes, it didn’t happen if it wasn’t on instagram, the photographer took beautiful pictures of each one of us, paying special attention to the elaborate colour schemes of the flared lehengas.
We gathered our embroidered clutches and dragged ourselves into cars. And of course, we could only seat 3 of ourselves in a 5 seaters, courtesy to the cancan net under our half sarees.
We arrived at the venue in a motorcade-esque way, and paraded our way inside the engagement hall in our pomp and splendour.
With 6 inch heels and an outfit that weighed around 3 kgs, oh and not to forget the exuberant amount of gold and diamond jewellery, I’m actually pretty surprised that I didn’t trip.
Just the night before, we had been given strict instructions to be on our best behaviour in front of the groom’s side of the family: no offensive language, no strong opinions, no sibling rivalry topics, no whining, no crying, and most important of all: no family talk gets out.
As part of the close cousins squad, anyone who was anyone meaningful to the bride had to stand right behind the couple throughout the whole event, which consisted of over 600 guests constantly blessing the engaged couple by throwing flowers on their heads, in the traditional Telugu way.
After 6 hours of the constant fake smiling for pictures, 2 outfit changes, a cake cutting and lots of aunties, it was finally time for lunch. As much I felt like a princess in my outfit, I also felt like I was a coat hanger.
By the time it was 2am, I had officially given up, I needed to get back into my pajamas, change out of the stilettos and tie up my hair. I called one of the 15 family cars waiting at the venue and escaped o my grandmom’s home. By default, my maid, who had opened the door for me was bombarded with 10s of 100s of phone calls demanding me to return to the engagement in the same attire that I had left in. But can you guess what this rebel child did? Mhm, I changed.
But, in the end, I did end up returning to the venue, and my ‘punishment’ for leaving was that I had missed the awkward family photograph sessions, but come on, wasn’t that a win-win? I got a lot of surprised glances to my side, but to be honest, at that point, I didn’t care about anything but plain woven cotton clothing and my aeropostale slippers.
Everyone had dispersed already, but the close relatives were to pack up the dressing rooms and leave. Little children were either running around like maniacs, crying or sleeping. By the time we went home, it was already 6pm. Who said that engagements weren’t a full day event?  The bride soon left, trailing photographers being her, and we soon followed. The second we went home, it was frenzy. The wedding gifts to the groom had to be sent before his departure to his own home in another city. But as the evening sobered, the responsible side of the family, i.e. everyone older than 18 started getting changed and the gossip circles had started forming. These circles were so intense that I got dirt on the neighbour, her mother in law, and he mother in law’s dog’s lover. And the irony of it all? I didn’t even know the neighbour’s name.

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10 Movies To Rewatch On Your Girls’ Night In.

This list will not contain the words ~mean~ and ~girls~ strung together. I repeat, this list will not contain the words ~mean~ and ~girls~ strung together.

  1. Cruel Intentions
    As unconventional as this movie is, it’s a majorly underrated chick flick. Given the rating is 18+, it’s a perfect girls’ night gone wild movie.
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  2. Pride and Prejudice
    Who can resist the allure of the Great Gatsby era? Definitely not me. The latest adaptation of this movie, staring Kiera Knightley and Matthew McFadyen, is a heart wrenching tale of the assohle turned saviour, it’s a classic. But, if you do prefer a bit more *badass*, I do recommend Pride and Prejudice and Zombies- same plot, more brain eating.
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  3. Clueless
    AGHAGAHGAH. Enough cannot be said about this movie. 90’s fashion. Chanel Tweed Suits. High school. It has the main trifecta. It’s as light hearted as chick flicks get, but it’s not without it’s awe-striking moments.Image result for clueless gifs
  4. Pretty Woman
    Here is ours ideal makeover movie, aka a ~relatively~ modern girl’s Cinderella story. This movie never gets old, no matter how many times we watch it- Julia Roberts’s charm has proven to be as timeless as diamonds.Image result for pretty woman gifs
  5. Beauty and the Beast
    Who can resist a good old disney animated love story? Not even my inner feminist could convince me to watch this movie for the 30th time.Image result for beauty and the beast gifs
  6. 13 going on 30
    Talking about the 30th time. Anyways, this sure as hell is another 90s chick flick. Who doesn’t love them? With a young girl who’s suddenly thrust into the role of a 30 year old magazine editor, there’s plenty of humour, satin slip dresses and tear jerking scenes. Or maybe the tear jerking scenes are only for weak hearted souls, like yours truly. Image result for 13 going on 30 gifs
  7. The Other Woman
    The adult version of John Tucker Must Die. But I’ve gotta admit, nothing can beat the Brittney Snow starrer. However, the movie is worth a watch, for Kate Upton’s gorgeous hair, for the ultimate Nicki Minaj cameo, or for the ultimate man takedown. ~Preach Girl~
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  8. Heartbreakers
    Okay, seriously, this is the most underrated movie of all time. Telling the tale of the not so classic mother and daughter duo, it proves to be quite the interesting movie. Afterall, who can resist a bit of Jennifer Love Hewitt?Image result for heartbreakers gif
  9. The Devil Wears Prada
    Okay. Designer Shoes, Anne Hathaway, Vogue-inspired, Meryl Streep. Um um um. Aren’t those enough of a reason? Image result for the devil wears prada gif
  10. SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE
    THIS ENTIRE PARA IS GOING TO BE IN CAPITALS, BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM SHOUTING RN. WHO DOESN’T LOVE THIS MOVIE? IF YOU DON’T LOVE IT, IT MEANS THAT YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED IT. SO STOP WHATEVER YOU’RE DOING, AND WATCH IT THIS INSTANT. THIS IS A MASOCHISTIC SOB FEST FAIRYTALE OF A MOVIE. (DO I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? NO. NO I DON’T. DON’T QUESTION IT.)Image result for sleepless in seattle gifs

My Designer Wishlist 2018

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Okay. Lets be honest here- who doesn’t have a list of high end branded items that they hope to somehow own (I use the term own very loosely) by the time they die? There are people who admit to it, and there are people who lie. Me? I’m definitely from the former category.

  1. Kate Spade Bubble Umbrella.
    Okay, so it’s a known fact that Kate Spade has the cutest stationary, bags and what not, but did you know that they also carried umbrellas? So to be completely honest, these aren’t completely unaffordable (I don’t think that’s a word)- in fact, they cost pretty much the same as any other quality umbrella would, but the problem is that I’ve just never gotten around to buying one.Image result for kate spade bubble umbrella
  2. Burberry Trench Coat.
    You’d be lying if you said that you’ve never dreamed of owning one. I truly believe that this is one fashion staple that can be worn and paired with near to any outfit. However, I also do believe that it’s relatively plain looking for the price you’re paying, and you can get many more affordable options with the same look you’re getting. However, the Burberry quality is of course the best.Image result for burberry trench coat
  3. The Chanel Tweed Suit and skirt set.
    $1,500. That’s the going price of second hand suits. This again is another staple piece, albeit debatable, that every working woman needs in her wardrobe. I mean, who can resist the allure that has surrounded the tweed suit? With it’s rich texture and multitudes of variations, it’s simply irresistible to ogle it. Image result for chanel tweed suit
  4. Valentino Rockstud Leather Pumps.
    Which brand hasn’t attempted to make a dupe of these? Look at the picture, and that’s enough said. Once you buy these, there’s no going back.Image result for valentino rockstud leather pumps
  5. The Double G Gucci Belt.
    Although this one isn’t too expensive for a Gucci item, or a designer one au general, it’s pretty expensive for a belt. You’ve probably seen this on most of the bloggers you follow and is available in quite a couple of widths, sizes and colours. Image result for the double g gucci belt blog

  6. Louboutin So Kate Pumps.
    Who doesn’t know this classic pair of red bottoms? This is a pair of shoes that you can’t go wrong with. The exude elegance and grace while maintaining a clean, simple look.Image result for so kate
  7. Adidas Superstars.
    Okay, these aren’t really designer items, but come on, everyone needs a pair. They’re perfect when dressing down outfits or for the occasional shopping trip too. There’s nothing that you can’t wear these on.Image result for adidas superstars
  8. Gucci Dionysus shoulder bag.
    This isn’t necessarily a classic designer item, but right now, it’s everywhere. With it’s wide range of variety in materials, colours and designs, who doesn’t want one?Image result for gucci dionysus
  9. The Chanel 2.55 in Caviar Leather.
    Why caviar leather? Even though it doesn’t have the same shine as the lambskin version does, it has way more resistance and durability to scratches and scuffs. This bag certainly is the most timeless of all the classics and is a dream for everyone.Image result for chanel 2.55 caviar leather
  10. The Lady Dior.
    So this certainly is one bag that I go crazy for. It’s been on the arms of everyone- from designers to bloggers to princesses. It’s the ideal size and the quilted texture only adds to its appeal.Image result for lady dior
  11. The Birkin.
    Inspired by Jane Birkin herself, this is definitely one of the most reputed bags in the world. However, with it costing a whooping $10,000 or Rs.12,00,00, the most this wish is going to be is a wish.
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  12. The Louis Vuitton Neverfull.
    By far, this is definitely the most practical designer item ever, living up to its name. With the classic LV design, what’s not to love about this bag?Image result for lv neverfull
  13. Manolo Blahniq Hangisi Pumps in Blue Satin.
    I feel like the first time I had heard of these was in the Devil Wears Prada, and ever since, I’ve always wanted a pair. They remind me of royalty, luxury, and did I say royalty?Manolo Blahnik - HANGISI
  14. The Gucci Soho Mini Chain Bag.
    The last and final item on this list- this is bag is as sporty and casual as $1000 designer bags get. A modern day staple in the closets of bloggers and celebrities alike, the signature Gucci logo on the bag only adds to its allure.Image result for the gucci soho

My fairytale 16th

You wake up with your not-so-gorgeous bed hair and you think to yourself: something’s odd about today, like you’re forgetting something. You feel relaxed until you have a wild epiphany: your 16th birthday’s in less than 2 months. And this is what I call, the golden period: there’s a strained calmness in the air and you’re excited out of your mind to finally have the gorgeous fairytale-esque birthday you’ve been dreaming off since you were 6. You open your pinterest and you plan everything out: the venue, the cake, your hair and makeup and what not? You call the most sought after designer and book a fitting, and you make an appointment with that event planner that your cousin had for her wedding. But, some how, everything keeps getting postponed, the bakery’s under renovation and the photographer’s flown out to Turks and Caicos, but of course, nothing bothers you, because in that pretty little head of yours, you think that you have lots of time to plan everything out.

Soon enough, you’re writing down the date for your fashion designing submission at school and you realise that it’s in less than 5 days. You whine a bit, but you carry on. Then, someone points it out, “Hey, isn’t your birthday in a month?”. And that’s it. All the mania starts- this can be classified as the maybe denim and diamonds can be paired together period. You realise that you’ve got nothing put down on paper and that the hotel you wanted’s been booked for the next 2 months. Everything’s stressed, and your brain’s nagging at you because of course, you forgot something: the DJ. A few tantrums and mental breakdowns later, everything’s as fine as it can get, oh that is until of course, you get the grand total- just enough to pay for the education of 23 homeless children for a year. Yes, I did the math. Yes, I regretted being extra. Yes, I hated myself. No, I didn’t plan to rob a bank. Or wait, did I?

And then everything’s fine again till the week before. This is what I like to call the not everything that shines is gold period- partly because the jeweler says that he won’t be able to complete the diamond chandelier earrings you ordered and advises you to wear fake ones. WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS? The menu you curated makes you puke now, the multiple food tasting sessions only make it worse. You have a nightmare that your cake is going to turn out to be Zenith blue instead of Powder blue, which means that it wouldn’t match your dress. The florist picks out petunias instead of carnations. And the last straw- the zipper on your dress won’t zip all the way up. Everything feels like a wreck at this point and you start to re-evaluate everything: Was the Rs. 3000 hair appointment really worth it? One by one, guests start cancelling: “I’m down with pneumonia” one says, but of course you don’t care (Isn’t my fairytale party more important than your common cold?), “My great aunt’s getting married to her dog” (Margaret, do I look like I care?). Then come the series of questions about the dress code and theme: “Do I have to dress well?”, “Can’t you make an exception for me?”, “Can I wear black?”, “Can I put on a tiara?”- can’t people use their brains for once, the answers are yes, no, no, no, in that particular order. And that’s when you realise that you’re just being a drama queen.

It’s one day till your birthday and you still haven’t seen the decor or the cake. The panic strikes when your makeup appointments been cancelled, let’s call this phase the fairytale ending, ironic enough, but you’ll see why. You don’t have enough time to do your own makeup and juggle your hair appointment at the same time, but at this point you’ve already given up hope. You go to the venue, expecting nothing too spectacular. You walk inside and you take a huge breath in. It takes a while for you to take everything in: it’s perfect. From the fairy lights that’re giving you the illusion of a cradle of stars to the scrumptious food that you probably won’t get a chance to eat. Everything’s in its place and you start enjoying yourself. All the stress and anxiousness leaves you and the worry liner on your forehead miraculously fade away. Everyone who matters to you is around you and you’re having the time of your life. You truly feel like a princess, because for that night, you truly are one.

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From Eyenos to Eyebrows: A simple guide to growing out your eyebrows

Okay. Now which picture of Cara Delevingne should I insert? The one with raised eyebrows or the one with her face angled toward the right? Oh wait. I could be edgy and insert a picture of Lily Collins instead. After all, every other post about eyebrows has a picture with either of them, or if we’re lucky, both.

Now, for realsies. If you don’t have thick, defined and luscious eyebrows, who even are you? Oh wait. Someone with bad eyebrow genes (are those even a thing)? Maybe. Or are you a hip someone from the 1990s? Probably.

Okay, so now, why do we even need thick eyebrows? Apart from the hygiene and safety reasons that we obviously don’t care about, they actually serve a more important purpose- they make you look fetch.

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So how are we supposed to transform the skinny Kendall Jenner brows to instagram worth Kylies?

Option a- Makeup. Who said that diamonds were a girl’s bestfriend? I don’t see a whole locked cupboard of Tiffany’s jewellery in your room, but I do happen to see a whole locked cupboard of Naked palettes and Anastasia Beverly Hills glow-kits. So we have quite a few options here, ranging from $4 to $40 and with a variety of mediums. If you knew anything about eyebrow products, I’m sure you’ve heard of the Anastasia Beverly Hills Dip Brow. Actually, if you knew anything about makeup, I’m sure you’ve heard of the Anastasia Beverly Hills Dip Brow aka the holy grail of anyone with skinny browsmorphia. At $18 per ‘pot’, it’s definitely not on the cheaper side. Of course, there is a dupe for this would be the ELF eyebrow kit, which doesn’t have packaging that’s half as luxurious as it’s high end counterpart but has a formula that’s just as great. The next option, would be a product more powder based, such as the Too Faced Brow Envy Brow Shaping and Defining Kit. As a brow beginner, powder based-products would definitely be the easiest to use as they provide for easier manipulation of product (let’s be real, that’s fancy for easy mistake fixing).  And being the cheap ass that I am, ofc I know the dupe for this: The Wet n Wild Ultimate Brow Kit– a total game changer. Brow pencils are another great alternative, mainly because you can easily draw even the most minute hairs of the eyebrow. However, it’s so very easy to go a bit too pencil-happy with this, and end up looking like you’re working on a Big Foot Halloween costume. But, if you can make the pencil work, you can make YOU WORK, girl. One of the best recommended high end eyebrow pencils would be the Kimiko Super Fine Eyebrow Pencil Automatique. And a low end alternative? The Instant Lift Brow Pencil. And the best part of all of these? They come with brow brushes.

Option b- The natural way. And this, is way way way more complicated, like all second options go.
Step 1– Throw the Tweezerman, Scissors and Waxing Strips away right now. All you need now is a little tweezer-happiness mania and your skinny eyebrows could have been drawn in with a sharpie.
Step 2– AVOID YOUR EYEBROWS DURING SKINCARE. Did you know that moisturisers, foundations and the like stunt hair growth? Yeah, neither did I. But unless you want bald spots on your eyebrows, then maybe we should avoid slathering the moisturiser all over faces.
Step 3– Take vitamin supplements. This is one of the biggest game changers, and on of the more underrated ones at that. Biotin is one of the most vouched for supplements. However, a more healthy option would be eating the necessary foods, yes, that includes broccoli.
Step 4– CASTOR OIL. The best hair growth oil there is. It’s a miracle worker, and I mean it. The visible hair growth is as clear as it gets. This can be substituted for other hair growth serums for quicker hair growth, like the Revita Brow Advanced, although it is a whooping $110. However, there are similar substitutes, like the Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Enhancing Serum Advanced or the RapidLash Eyelash and Eyebrow Enhancing Serum. I personally like to use castor oil- it’s cheap, readily available and let’s be honest, it has the most success stories. However, I like to keep myself open to using synthetic hair growth generators as well.

Quick Reminders: Eyebrow growth has a cycle of 6-8 weeks. So don’t expect instant results. Regular application of hair growth serums, vitamin supplements and your pinterest board for healthy eating is key. No cheat days here. Be realistic, nature forbids you from getting Cara-esque eyebrows in 3 weeks, or for us less genetically fortunate, ever. Brushing your brows in the desired direction helps promote hair growth, and is severely underrated.  

Mirror Mirror on the wall, who’s the most hairless of them all?

Shaving, plucking, threading, nair, waxing, laser, electrolysis, and the list just goes on. What’s the obsession with humans trying to become sphynxs? Okay, who am I kidding? I’m just as guilty as the next person when it comes to trying to remove each and every strand of wayward body hair. But before I start telling you my tragic hair removal journey, let me tell you, pain is imminent. But then again, no one wants to be caught with prickly legs. I think this is the true trade off in mind when someone said pain was beauty.

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Okay, so I think I was introduced to the razor in 8th grade. I remember being awfully convinced that I’d end up giving myself massive cuts and that I’d die due to excessive blood loss. But that didn’t really happen, fortunately. I started off with dry shaving. It proved to be easy to clean up after and did the job pretty well. But then, curiosity hit me: why do youtubers say they shave in the shower? So cautiously, one Friday evening, I grabbed my trusty Gillette venus (still my go-to), stepped into the shower and went to town. To be honest, I was shocked, the silky smooth shave that I had gotten was unlike no other: I felt like a baby seal. Is this what I had been missing out on? Soon enough, I started to develop my shaving routine. At first, I started using drugstore conditioner as lubricant, but I wasn’t a stickler for the amount of water and time it took to wash it off later. Although my razor had one of those moisture strip thingies, I didn’t want to take any risks in not having perfectly smooth, silky skin. Sure enough, I graduated to using the Gillette Satin care Ultra Sensitive Skin Shave Gel. Wow that’s a mouthful. Now, if only Gillette would sponsor me. Anyways, I don’t know whether it was meant to leave my skin moisturised or not, but it did. And God was I thankful for this in the harsh cold months of the Indian winter. Unlike others though, I never really faced the major peril or razor burn or cuts while shaving, thanks to my amazing razor or my fabulous shaving skills? We’ll never know.

Soon enough, 10th grade rolled around, and I didn’t have time to shave every few days. So I wanted to try something more permanent, more grown up. My first thought was epilation. I went online and bought the Braun Silk-Epil 7 7-561 Wet & Dry Cordless Epilator and let me tell you something- OUCH! I used it a total of 0.2 times- I can still see it lying there in the dark recesses of my drawer, vowing to get its revenge on me someday. But getting back to point, I still hadn’t found my semi-permanent solution. After scouring the lengthy, mile-long hair removal shelves at a beauty store, my eye found the nair section. A cream? That got rid of hair? WHY HAD I NEVER TRIED THIS? But the packaging hadn’t warned me about the stench that was to haunt me for the next 12 hours. My veet phase had only lasted a week or two- it just wasn’t for me.

My next option was waxing. Ahhh, this was actually a good point in my life for my body hair. Or wait, it was the worst. I used to call home my ‘waxing lady’ and I’d sit in the most awkward positions for a total of 2 hours, and I’d be completely hairless. I’d be smooth for a week, but then the hair in growths would start. In growths like I’d never seen before. My underarms grew darker, and my hair follicles started looking like craters. But I still didn’t stop getting it. Waxing’s like ice cream, it’s addictive.

This was about the same time when I started to get threading for my upper lip. Wellll, this didn’t go as hairlessly (HAHAAH GET IT? HAIRLESS=SMOOTH) as hoped for. My first few encounters gave me minute breakout, which eventually leaded to me freaking out and taking copious amounts of anti-allergy medications, not to mention the eye watering pain the entire ordeal of threading was. Plucking was a whole different story though. It didn’t hurt at all, to be honest. And it was quite convenient, as appointments needn’t be made and small talk avoided. Full disclosure though, I wasn’t very good at this and only had the patience to tweeze off only majorly wayward eyebrow hairs.

By 12th grade, I was already searching for a more permanent way out of body hair. And I found it- Laser Hair Removal. It was a god send. After hours of convincing my mom it was safe and waiting till I was 16 to get it, I was finally signed up for 6 sessions off full body hair removal. The total cost was Rs. 40,000 per session at Oliva. But me being awfully thrifty, bought the sessions on a 50% off sale.

Each session was to be split between two days, as the body isn’t allowed to be exposed to too much radiation. The first day of my first session rolled around, and I was super excited, who wouldn’t be? But I hadn’t anticipated the discomfort, fully. The technician started off my marking my body into sections, and then called in a doctor to analyse my hair growth and the frequencies that would need to be used on each division. This ordeal ended up taking 2 and a half hours in itself, but the worst part was yet to come. Before the actual procedure started, cooling gel was applied and the air cooling switched on. And you can guess how it went. 4 hours I shivered in the freezing cold, awfully scared that I’d catch pneumonia. The laser itself didn’t hurt much, except for the occasional sting on super sensitive areas, but the discomfort of the cold and the constant rubbing of the laser machine made up for that. I came out of the laser session and apart from the distinct warmth I felt, the only other thing I could concentrate on was how healthy, smooth and supple my skin felt. The hours of boredom and annoyance were worth it.

At the moment, I’m due for my first day of my second session in 2 weeks. I’ve been relatively hairless for 3 weeks now, and let me say this, it’s been a pretty pleasant journey. However, the post laser care you need to give your skin was ignored by yours truly, and this did lead to a major breakout which I’m still tending for. And if you’re going to get laser soon, remember to stock up on the sunscreen.